im sorry this is not your love.<3

=)

2006-05-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE BITCH! ive moved.

=))

2006-05-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

you know how i said i wouldnt be updating soon i guess that just never works!

ive come to realise that the one person who can make you the happiest can infact make you the saddest too.-->just something random but very true.

you know i loved my blog the way it used to be..how everything was so so random to everyone and nothin made sense to anyone but me.maybe a once in a while random one yea grace?

haha something funny just happened!both my brother and i arent suppose to be online so he sees me online and blocks me and i do likewise!haha for goodness sake we're both in the same housE!

anyways saturday went not too bad.sat night was FUN!i met my mums frens from UK..we went to arab street for Turkish food and then shisha!at the turkish restaurant the owner or whoever came up to me and asked me if i was hindu or christiani was like "no im muslim!" he rushed over the counter and gave me that eye figurine thing you know the thins for "nazar" i really was pretty lost..he was like "you muslim you better keep this!" uhuh yea..anyways then we thought we'd go to MOS but the Uk people were all like oh we've got that in UK take somewhere sporean.so we headed to mohd sultan!haha!yea they asked for sporean what!anyways we didnt last there either so like after while we left.anyways here's something my mum was looking through and then she gave it to me and she had tears in her eyes..

I hear you have a new addition,

A sweet little gal who is quite a magician,

Transforming each normal adult who sees her

To a comical fool just trying to please her.
She'll wrap you around her little finger,

As around her crib you often linger,

Searching for what can make your hearts twirl--

The adorable smile of your baby girl.
Cherish each moment while she's still small.

Collect sweet memories for later recall.

For when she's grown up and on her own,

You'll wonder where the time has flown.

AHH..how it just sucks growing up sometimes!

--dunt you just sometimes miss the times you'd sit by the door and try so hard to tie your laces and then your daddy just comes and does it for you and you sit there in great admiration and wonder "WOW..THAT'S SOME MAGIC MY PAPA CAN DO!"

--dunt you just miss the times where you dunt have to eat by yourself and your mummy just feeds every spoon filled with food right into your mouth and all you do is go "AHHH[ with mouth wide open!]..

--oh man dunt you wish that you could turn back time and go back to the very first day you attended playschool with you parents by your side leaving in the hands of unknown people.and the 3 hours you there for seem to just never end and then you cry and look for your mummy and repeatedly ask your teacher "what time is it?"she tells you the time and your like damn if only i could tell time id know how long more id have to suffer here![i was just 3]

--dunt you miss the times you had falling down and crying when trying to learn how to cycle and then tell yourself "IM NEVER DOING THIS EVER AGAIN!"and the next day you grab your bike and try again just because everyone else bigger could do it I COULD TOO!

--dunt you just think about all the times when you played with dolls,those weird barbie dolls who we'd leave them half naked lying around cos we lose thier clothes whenever we try to change them!

--dunt you just miss playing with make-up and making a mess out of your face and still going to admire yourself in the mirror and then look at your mummy go "dont i look pretty" and your mummy will go yes my dear and you look back and realise omgosh what a liar la.

--dunt you miss the times you'd fall asleep on your mums lap and a volcano could erupt less than 5m away and yet you'll still be snoring away.it's like it was the safest most comfortable place ever!

--dunt you miss watching all those cool barnay, winnie the pooh, power rangers and sesame street shows!God!

--dunt you look back and just think about all those absolute crazy stuff youve done the past years..like how i remember drinking out of a fountain in australia when i was 6 cos i was just so thirsty!!but like id never do that NOW!

i guess as much as we all hate to face the fact that we're growing up..we really are!we're becoming OLD!ergh!dunt worry we shall all age gracefully yea?hee..

=)

2006-05-05T19:49:00.000+08:00

completely defeated the entire purpose of even changin my password!so some entries had to go.

hmm BIO PRACT---
this is how eveyrone reacted after the exam
"its over..let's not talk about it!" noone wanted to talk about it!NOONE!it was that bad..

anyways im addicted to this song too bad people its no exactly an english song its called "say na say na" from the movie bluffmaster!

thanks grace and mel for the messages!thanks!

i dunt think ill be updating for a while firstly all major papers start next week..for example CHEMISTRY..and ive decided there is no way im giving up on that subject..come on its me..its possible!haha okay this is the first time ive ever looked at chem in such a positive way!AMAZING huh!

oh today,at tuition shahmeer was damn cute lah!he kept showing us his finger which was by the way bruised badly..then we start gossping bout farhan!haha yay i finally have someone to gossip with about farhan..and just because thw whole booklet i was doing was a VS booklet...he kept saying this "oh what school you doing ah..then looks at my paper and goes oh VS!you doing VS paper..wow my school must really have excellent standard..then he went on braggin as usual!i told him that by saying that t also meant i had a high standard but he refused to believe me..stupid VS boy!then to shut him up i showed him shahnawaz's number in my hp haha!boy then his lips went completely sealed!haha..anyways!thats all..

i miss you.=)

..)

2006-05-02T20:04:00.000+08:00

tadaa..its the beginning of exams!
lets see
EL 1 went alright
ML 1 went alright surprisingly too.
i guess you can really pretty much expect the same answer after every exam "oh it was ok" doesnt everyone say that?

anyways so today jean came crying to me at the concourse.i mean honestly i didnt have anything to say to her!what's there to say?everything is way over babe!

i just had a chat with someone i hadnt chat with in like months.hahe poor fella seemed so depressed!hello im supposed to be the stressed one here!anyway i dunt really understand why some people are so hard on themsemves..you know ive realised i dunt understand a lot of things..somehow whenever i question someone the person doesnt seem to know the answer either!

anyways.

=)

2006-04-30T18:51:00.000+08:00

GRACE!:im so sorry..dunt worry your not the only bugging me.blogger has been quite an ass really recently

Okay Friday came and went..its not really how I expected things to turn out but yea I guess ill put it this way whatever happened,happened for the better.thanks for all the fun times LEE..hoiyan doesn’t read my blog but still hoiyan weldone babe!you handled the team very well and tho you guys didn’t win.it was an awesome effort!MEL I LOVE YOU!

Anyways drama night!!so I headed to school and I was damn early..so I met up with van and charis then we went for lunch at kap with mel,lyon and nic!it was quite fun!then we walked back..and I played badminton well I stood there with a badminton racket and like manage to hit some of the shots!anyways then they decided to be really good and wanted to see ms ho for a/emath..then they wanted me to accompany them..so me being the nice me I grabbed a pen and followed them so I called ms ho
Shab:ms ho hi can we see you?
Ms ho:okay shabana is it?
Shab:no wilder wants to….
Ms ho:(cuts me out) wilder?
Van: (from the background) not wilder!VAN!!
Shab:oh yea van!!
Ms ho:but you are shabana right?
Shab:YES…can come out or not?
Ms ho:yah…and she hangs up…[so rude!]

Then she comes out..and we do work..and she teaches us..and then we lose concentration and start talking and gossiping bout close to almost everything!and everyone!

Then…I was looking for my work..
Ms ho:haha loser you cant find it.
Charis:ms ho you’re a teacher you cant say that!
Shab:HAHAHA {stares at ms ho]
Ms ho:its okay its shabana she wont have any heart feelings lah..(tries to cover up)anyway its reverse psychology or some shit thing..
Shab:anyway ms ho you were the loser one yesterday in front of the whole level your pc didn’t work like 5 times during exam briefing!LOSER!
Everyone laughs at her!

Haha so this conversation went on and we started talking bout rubbish!and like completely deviated from maths..then I went for drama..then it was drama night!lets just say it was a great turn up!the show was awesome!

Alright I hate answeting the phone and being called “hey shakeera baby!” forgoodness sake cant you people tlel the difference..im like 6 years older and my name is shabana and I sounds different!

Anyways here’s to you and you..Well you done done me and you better felt it I tried to be chill but you so hot that i melted I fell right through the cracks and i'm tryin to get back before the cool done run out i'll be givin it my bestest and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some i won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait i'm yours Well open up your mind and see like me open up your plans and damn you're free look into your heart and you'll find love love love listen to the music of the moment maybe seen with me Ah, la peaceful melodie It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

come home

2006-04-26T18:19:00.000+08:00

first things first im not supposed to be here!im freaking supposed to be at cheer prac or drama..both have really been taking up a lot of my time!i wanted to quiet cheer but thne i realised it will be so unfair to hoiyan and the rest of the sec 4s cos everyone seems to be wanting to quit but we're all hanging in there together..cos afterall we are in this together!drama night is like friday [intersect] saturday!haha the intersect comes in due to SETS!i learnt today that intersect means "and" and union means "or"!!that's way besides the point!

last night i came home with this really bad aching shit painful right shoulder!(which btw is still pretty bad) and i was having a freaking headache so i thought fine ill sleep first and then wake up at 3 plus to mug..but guess what i slept right thru till 4.45 and i even had a freaky dream!i was so scared it was so dark!i was ALONE..and i hid under my blanket and i felt like something so wrong could have happened..whatever it is i completely feeling that way!everntually i woke uup and looked at BIO..then i was too scared to be in my room alone..so i went down and sat in the kitchen atleast i had my maid..

so then school was utterly weird..AND i hate weird days in school..

then it begin to rain and i needed to come home so badly to mug so i did..i came home and i had lunch with my mum and then i remembered what meryl said bout doing amath/emath so i did just that!and i felt so good..anyways then THE PHONE RANG and my mum just had to come into my room to dammit answer it and not only that she remains on my bed and starts talking really loudly!then my sister walks in and lies beside her on MY bed and starts playing with some stupid zip..so i get really annoyed cos here i am trying to study and there they are being so inconsiderate so i went downstairs to my brother's room..i lay on his bed and i just broke down..i guess it was really a build up of every damn thing!im one person who cannot cope with stress!firstlty i dunt know how to and secondly im not that kinda of person.ive been hiding away from everything but i guess i have to face it i am a lil stressed out..esp with mids and the fact that every damn teacher is preparing us for really bad results upon looking at the papers and elee can even go to the extend to say yes this is to ensure that all bio girls get distinction for Os..like hello!ergh..anyway that breakdown was so overdue its just that i kept running away from it.everything's so baldy planned cheer finals are on sturday too..dance night was last week and dramanight is friday and saturday and MID YRS BEGIN ON TUESDAY..SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME THE LOGIC IN THIS PLANNING CONSIDERIN THE FACT THAT WE'RE SEC 4s!!

well had a really meaningful talk with jamie grace and mel.s.w!i realised how im the kinda person who doesnt like to face problems..i just noticed that i keep forgetting everything that happens i just keep putting everything behind me and i keep moving on..i realised i never solve my problems i just forget them.like social stuff and everything i just move on and dunt care about those kinda stuff..im not sure if this is good?but yea..it's like i just dunt care!i mean no point solcing such problems right everyone's gonna say different things..it'll just make things worse..sigh..some people have just got to learn to grow up!

"People never know how special someone really is to them until that someone leaves, but maybe sometimes its important for that someone to leave for a bit, so your given that chance to see how special that someone really is!" -there's a thousand things that i could say to make you come home!lol..

before she says anything-thnks van!

2006-04-25T21:53:00.000+08:00

IT'S ALL A MATTER OF TIME.

i miss your smile
and the way your so mine!

ANYWAYS.......

i dunt understand!

1.i dunt understand how its possible for me to gain and lose weight so easily
2.i dunt understand how some people change boyfrens like changing underwear!
3.i dunt understand how i fell in love[just a lil curious..]
4.i dunt understand how people do so well in thier studies[with tons of other commitments all at one go]
5.i dunt understand how its impossible for friends to not be able to understand the term "friends" and yet call themself one

6.i dunt understand why the world is the way it is
7.i dunt understand why God is God?
8.i dunt understand why people say life is always unfair?
9.i dunt understand why animals were created[food?]
10.I JUST DUNT UNDERSTAND ALOT OF THINGS IN LIFE!

2006-04-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

IM ALL ALONE!

yea seriously everyones gone and now im sitting here all alone..MOM+SIS+MAID---gone for dinner.

BROTHER---gone out!

DAD---MALAYSIA

sigh..miss everyONE!

p.s. i should have gone for dance night!sorry my deares christina and sher!

2.4-HM!thanks cel.thanks grace!stupid stain!stupid stress!

SOPHIA BLACKMORE LECTURE:i really tried to pay close attention but i got so tempted upon seeing the entire row on the other side sleeping and with grace beside me you really cant blame me for knocking out towards the last 15 min!and i wasnt in the right frame of mind anyway!grace and cel were talking bout something i spoke for 10 sec and then i dint know what i was talking bout..i really couldnt focus!OH YES i just must add in this..

okay so i wrote a note to van and passed it to charis and wrote my names as shab.so i waited and waited for a reply..WAITED AND AND WAITED..and the whole lecture ended and i still didnt get a reply!

shab:WHERES MY LETTER!!

van:huh...what letter!!

shab:so kiss me and smile for me..

van:OMG IT WAS YOU!!

shab:yes..my name was there!!

van:OH..shit i thought it was stef!

shab:what!!NO IT WAS SHAB!

stef:haha so all this while we have been conversing instead.

van:yea cos i sent it to stef and after that we have been talking..

shab:explains why i was so BORED!stupid people lah..

=))

2006-04-20T20:54:00.000+08:00

"CAN YOU PLEASE UPDATE YOUR BLOG"--okay i honestly didnt know that me going on a lil tiny winy break would cause all this.but it's really sweet that so many of you actually bother to read this thing!you guys shuold tag you know.hmm well the week sure has gone by terribly quickly.things i had planned to do just never got done and so many other things came my way which i had to get done.
lets on my to do list:
1.DRAMA NIGHT TICKETS
2.GEOG GEOG(way overdue revision and i feel damn guilty bout this tho its only 1 chapter)
3.CALL michelle!!
4.actually the list would never end..

oh yea the debate!!haha..OKAY i was shit nervous.everyone was damn shocked that I was so nervous.well it just goes to show how many people actually know me well..and as cel put it looks can be so damn deceiving!but i think i did okay..tho i was worried like hell the whole morning..and i was so scared that the night before i tried to predict what the opposition would say so i prepared all my rebuts!haha..it was insane..but i think the best compliment i got which i was so touched about was when MEL(lil one) was like "your a debater right?" i was like haha was she blind or something..and as all the judges said you were shaking too obviously!dammit!oh wells..

drama night please buy tickets from me i know its really close to our mids but come on guys..I PASSED THE FREAKING DRAMA EXAM WHICH I DID IN HALF AN HOUR..with the help of a junior,grace and sheril!!haha something which people did IN 3 WEEKS mind you i did in 1/2 an hour amazingly,i was so shit scared that i would flunk it!thank you god!

oh yea so much shit happened with jams and simo..but dunt worry babe youve got the entire class on your side...most importantly youve got denise and me!so relax you know we'll cover up!

CHEERLEADING!hahaha okay this is what happened i met them at 240 for the so called meeting but by the time reached there hoiyan dismissed everyone for lunch and i found out eveyrone was going for chinese remedial so i dint go for cheer then kelly comes eh come for cheer!!we need a base badly..so i was like fine fine so i went for like 20 mins..ohoh as i entered this is what happened

i enter squash court behind kelly and jo..
SARA:WOW LOOK WHOSE HERE FINALLY..ITS SHAB!!
ME:haha yea..
SARA:wow shab im really impressed..first time right?
ME:no where got i was in cheer last year..
so after 20 mins i felt my hp vibrating and told sara i was gonna answer a call then i just never came back "i had bio to do!!" haha YEA SO RIGHT!then gina calls after chinese we're locking up the gymnasium your wallet is with me..thanks gina!and now all the sec 4s are planning to botcott the whole thing..hopefully it works!2 days before mids is no joke..plus drama night also!such bad planning..

AMERICAN IDOL:how can ACE be out..he is so charming..he had the voice..im so upset!well that is it im not watching american idol anymore!americans obviously dont know what an idol is suppose to be like..they dunt know how to vote.. period!come on clay 2nd and ruben idol!WTH?does ruben even seem idol-like..NOOOOO!

apparently according to christina she had a guy in her class who looked like "ritik rosan!"-HAHA AND NOW SHE TELLS ME!haha thanks nana..

to you dear;;;
No New Year's day to celebrate,
No chocolate covered
cAndy hearts
To give away,
No first of spring,
No song to sing,
In fact, here's just another
Ordinary day.
I just called to say I love you;
I just called to say how much I care;
I just called to say I love you,
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

have a fantastic time!don't do anything you'll regret..haha!love you!=)

siesta

2006-04-16T17:20:00.000+08:00

MY SIESTA BEGINS

for days to come..HAHA HAPPY READING!

Q: What's the last text message on your cell phonesay?
A :my brother and all it says is “OK”.

Q: Whose bed did you sleep in last night?:
A: mine!!
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?:
A: lol..blue

Q: Most recent movie that you watched?:
A: page 3

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?:
A: EAT!SLEEP!

Q: What's the color of your bedroom walls?:
A: baby blue

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?:
A: hmm..noone really counts how much they exactly have?so I dunt know..

Q: What's your favorite sport?
A: me??SPRORT?HAHA your kidding right?

Q: I can't wait till...?
A: tomorrow..?

Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?
A: 2 days ago before she left

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: 2 days ago before he left

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
A:I chose to have dinner at home so alone

Q: Is Tom on your friends list?
A: who?what?

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: handphone

Q: What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowedfrom someone?
A: erm..pe tsihrt counted?

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during theday?
A: haha friendster?blogs?

Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?
A: yea.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: CRAMPS!and it sucks

Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
A: spore?yesterday?

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: doesn’t almost everyone?

Q: What's your favourite Starbucks drink?
A: I prefer the cakes..

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: few days back but it was nothing..

Q: Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
A: erm…..=)
Last
1. Person you saw?brother lah
2. Talk on the phone?hahaha DIVIYA!
3. Hugged:my pillows
4. IM?-instant msg??erm you mean msn?erm mel.ong.
5. Song you listened to?christina millian-whne you look at me
6. Last person to make you laugh?sir!ass..

Today
1. What are you doing now?this?
2.Plans for the evening?Sunday night date at potong pasir the guy’s always punctual!its impressive..
3. What did you eat for Lunch?chicken nuggets

Tomorrow
1. Is?MONDAY?
2. Got any plans?no why?whose asking?hmm..
3. Goal?goal for tomorrow?HAHA WHAT?
5. Do you have work?who doenst?

Currently
1. In love with someone?someone!
2. Missing someone?haha..yea that uk babe!
3. Mood?HIGH!
4.Wearing?
haha..NOTHING!haha kidding clothes lah then!
5.Eating?
cream crackers and drinking ribena!

Okay this was so lame.

broed

2006-04-16T16:49:00.000+08:00

name 21 people you can think of right off the topof your head? dont read the questions underneathuntil you write the names of all da 21 people.Ready And Start!
1. grace
2. sheril
3. nina
4. faith
5.cel
6. jamal
7. gina
8. shakeer
9. mansheel
10. christina
11. bah
12. sara
13. shakeera
14. fiona
15. kenneth
16. diviya
17. JEAN
18. erm..prem?.
19. mel.STEPH
20. shafeez
21.ergh..irfan!
THE QUESTIONS:
1. How did you meet 14?-rgps?
2. What would you do if you never met 6?-haha..HMMM?I wonder?I really wonder..haha too bad we’ve met anyway!
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?-so wrong lah
4. Did you ever like 5?- haha cel!!CEL!HAHAHA!
5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?- not at
6. Describe 8:- BROTHER!
7. Do you think 13 is attractive?-ofcourse the beauty runs in the blood..HAHA!
8. Tell me something about 7:-ooh I love her..my pillar of strength whenver im down just one call away..few hosues away
9. Do you know any of 4's family- yah her sisters!
10. What's 21's favorite idol- ME!!lol..REALLY!
11. What would you do if 18 just confessed he/she liked you?- haha PISS OFF!
12. what language does 20 speak?- English?malay?hindi?
13. Who is 9 going out with?- noone..
14. How old is 16 now?- 19..haah I think..
15.When's the last time you talked to 13?- before she left for kl
16. What is 2's favorite band?- OHH..this is an easy one..BACKSTREET BOYS!right babe?
17. Would you ever date 10?- hahahaha…hmmm,,maybe in a few thousand years?
18. Would you ever date 3?-ditto
19. Is 15 single?- who wants to know ?
20. What is 19's last name?- WONG WONG WONG!
21. Would you ever want to be in a seriousrelationship with 11?- NOWAY..hell no..no no NO!
22. What school does 3 go to?- smss
23. Where does 17 live?- 12b hillcrest road.omg I actually knoe her address
24. What's your favorite thing about 5?- EVERYTHING25. Have you seen number 1 naked?- grace?HAH..hmm no..why?

i remember

2006-04-16T12:56:00.000+08:00

hey cel remember last year we learnt this!!

1.aishiteru
2.teamo
3.ich liebe dich
4.saya sayang kamu
5.naan unnai kadhalikirain
6.wo ai ni
7.je taime
8.Mai tumse pyar karti hoo
9.jeg elskar dig
10.Mujhe Tumse Muhabbat Hai

OMGOSH I STILL REMEMBER ALL 10 of it!

2006-04-15T19:35:00.002+08:00

HAHA TODAY TODAY TODAY!wish it'd never end..cos tomorrow,today will be yesterday!I'll always remember this day.as one of my best frens wait for this day to end,i pray this day wouldnt..its so sad for her yet one of the happiest days of my life..

to you today;be strong..im here for you!we all are!i love you dear and everything that ever happens is part of God's master plan so yea babe maybe it'll turn out to be a blessing in disguise!

PERMUTATE..COMBINE!hmm..

i love you so i shall go study!- Baby you're all that i want

When you're lying here in my arms

Im finding it hard to believe we're i heaven

And love is all that I need

And I found it there in your heart

It isnt too hard to see

We're In Heaven

Now nothing can change what you mean to me

there's a lot that i can say

but just hold me now

cuz our love will light the way

=)))

2006-04-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

okay..today is good friday!first things first thanks cel for that way awesome entry!so much for this morning's run!haha cel and i still ran in the evening..

shab:i wanna be home by 7.

cel:yea sure no problem..

shab:im not running..

cel:fine we'll walk

..so we start walking...and talking...

6.55pm..

shab:i need to be home by 7 you know!!

cel:yeah dunt worry we're aready quite near.

shab:YES WE'RE NEAR TO YOUR HOUSE NOT MINE!

..hahaha and guess what time i reach home??7.20PM!!
i could have so killed her..anyways i did cel what i'd plan to do..
ok my brother didn't take it well at all..SHIT!now how!

2006-04-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

so sick of long songs so tired of tears

i dont belive this is happening... im leaving friday morning.

to the wildest girl ever heres your public apology. love you hon.

i need God i need a miracle. i need you.

anyway, CEL here. not shab. shab dosent feel like blogging. so im here tying stuff out for her! (:

shab: dont worry too much about it alrights! i will still be here! and and we are changing bio tuition time then! we shall go at the same pace! no point going 2 lessons ahead of you! ultimately both of us doing well together is nice too (:

arsenal

2006-04-10T19:04:00.000+08:00

and sometimes i wish i was flying without wings..

yes arsanal lost not just by1 but by 2 goals..THE WAYNE RONNEY scored!so wilder whats one plus one?haha!hmm wilder cheer up!LOSER!haha..man we should have bet on that one..

TAGS:

FIONA:haha..wouldnt you love to know!dunt worry like i said ive got perfect taste I HOPE!damn i really really hope.shit i really really really really HOPE!

FAITH:dunt rub it in..and you guys chose swensens on top of that!

CEL:im not gullible..nor am i naive!too bad too sad i guess ill have to learn it all the hard way.thnks for everything babe!i cant believe this!

GRACE:congrats your one of them who just begins to understand my blog..weldone babe!and yes your definitely my hero if not you then who!

JAMAL:aresnal lost..so well dear you owe me..whats one plus one?HAHA!!

quiz

2006-04-09T18:34:00.000+08:00

sweets

2006-04-09T08:22:00.000+08:00

DIVIYA'S IN SINGAPORE!ok i missed Mels bday thing sorry dear!!hope you had a blast tho!happy 17th to you!one kiss coming right up..haha!so while they were there having fun i was at this house getting to know people i knew when i was 6 but obviously we had to start all over again..other than that nothing to much to blog about!im kinda freakin out about my malay Os which is in 7 weeks i think..darn!

this one's for you SWEETHEART!

Ek gal tu sun meri jaan (Hear me out, my soul mate, my life)

Meri manla hun meri jaan (Believe me, my life)

Mere dil na thoo meri jaan (Don't break my heart, my life)

Tu hi tu hai meri jaan (You and only you are my life)

Would you dance

if I asked you to dance?

Would you run and never look back?

Would you cry if you saw me crying?

And would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?

Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this.

Now would you die for the one you loved?

Hold me in your arms tonight.I can be your hero baby.

I can kiss away the pain.I

will stand by you forever.

You can take my breath away.

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?

Or would you lie?would you run and hide?

Am I in too deep?Have I lost my mind?

I don't care...You're here tonight.

I can be your hero baby.I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.You can take my breath away.

OhI just want to hold you.I just want to hold you.

Am I in too deep?Have I lost my mind?

I don't care...You're here tonight.

I can be your hero baby.I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by your forever.You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero..

haha i know its a bit egoistic of me(HERO) haha but hey its only you!

2006-04-07T19:23:00.000+08:00

haha..I LOVE THIS SONG!

It's amazing

How you can speak

Right to my heart

Without saying a word,

You can light up the dark

Try as I may

I could never explain

What I hear when

You don't say a thinG

The smile on your face

Lets me know

That you need me

There's a truth

In your eyes

Saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says

You'll catch me

Whenever I fall

You say it best

When you say

Nothing at all

p.s.cel i wont give up..not yet not now..HAHA!YAY!

i do

2006-04-06T16:31:00.000+08:00

for you jean;;;
okay i stayed back to do the jean thing today!!oh man nana and i wasted half an hour choosing pictures and like laughin at ourselves the 3 of us have come a long way and to think how we were only in the same class in sec 1..and then we all split..and today it seems as if we were always together!all the lame sec 1 neoprints and the class party rmb in the toilet we ran away from everyone!HAHA SO DUMB!and then founders day which began our annual asparagus teaing contest!oh man such great memories..and the orchard outing!and then the singapore idol when we went for it and appeared on tv!!and then BLACK EYED PEAS CONCERT!and oh last yr jeans surprise party!!oh man we've had loads of fun lah..so basically my point is HAPPY 16th BDAY TO YOU JEAN MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE..haha you know what i mean..okay im one day early but i dunt wanna blog tmr..so cheers jean this entry is dedicated to you!

haha okay cel fine dunt talk to me lah..haha you see what i do to the beaker of water next time..i cant believe this!CEL..and oh the 6-letter word tried cooking oranges..HAHA!FUNNY MURIEL!anyways debate:students should have a say in the hiring and firing of teachers.yup im last speaker!crap..anyways should be quite exciting..I HOPE!

haha okay i know this is a really old school song but hey ive loved it eversince and most people would agree with me that this song rocks:

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do
okay no prizes for guessing the band!!

smiles

2006-04-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

gosh.. school turns out to be more complicated then it seems..
and
i love you!

cross upon my heart

2006-04-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

when everyone walks out on me..im gonna look for you+++!=)

http://shabanarocks.fotopages.com

to you today;;;the demon lover by anonymous.freak la!
honestly i completely detest doing research on these poems firstly i dunt understand why these love poems are all left as anonymous!i mean then why write it in the first place?

just felt like it..just got reminded of it..

I CROSS UPON MY HEART..

The light,I saw it, in your face
Now its all just a disgrace
Sweetness came by sight
It happens every single night

I yearn for you to read my lips
I get drunk on you,sip after sip,
Unrequited love for you came to me
But I just don't have the right key

Mistake it was for the heart
Now there’s a really deep cut
You gave me hope and led me on
But now,I realize,I had gotten it all wrong

In front of you,I’m way to shy
Behind you,I always cry
Tears of sadness fill my eyes
(as I see you in someone else’s arms)
Right now I just want to die.
For this is,afterall,my very last goodbye!

Shabana Shakuro.

day 2

2006-04-02T01:24:00.000+08:00

ESPRESSO WAS SUPERB..screwed compared to yesterdays performance but the crowd was really superb!!had tons of fun!thanks for all the support grace!wilder!faaith!charis!munch sheril..etc etc etc..nice to see sarahtai.sarahtan and yijing!!ELECTRICO WAS COOL!haha..it was really full house..and omg thnks for the banner and flowers!!=)okat i toally fooled almost everyone at espresso today..said i was going uk friday night!and goodness everyone was so sad and was all like "WHAT..WHAT TIMES YOU FLIGHT WHICH TERMINAL!" and zhiwei was all like "shab what do you want before you leave!" and mingen "bring me back the guys we left in uk!!" and the poeple wno knew just played along then i realised i forgot to tell thm it was all a joke then chrstina reminded me cos it seems they were planning to go shopping to buy me gifts..classic lah!i tried to play a prank on div dint work..jamal dint finish it..on my mum it worked but it was so screwed..JEAN PLAYED A DAMN GOOD ONE ON ME!its okay jean you watch out girl..gina played a nice one on munch..haha damn funny!!

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.

How could an Angel break my heart? Why didn’t he catch my falling star? I wish I didn’t wish so hard.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

on a more serious note upon reading mels blog i really feel like giving up too!!i really do..its like mels giving up..cels giving up..grace has given up..everyones giving up..esp after today i dunt understand? i just felt so lost..i really feel like maybe its jst not meant to be..ive waited 8 months since i knew you..and now i dunt see the reason why i should go on like this..maybe its better i let go soon before i get really hurt or find out something i wouldnt be able to handle.i mean i just hate it when the guy makes you like him and then just leaves it..hello explanation??and im very sure tons of peeople are going thru this too.worst is when we sit together and talk it out like girltalk all we can do is just talk about it but we dunt come to a solution..its so terrible..it's something im really gonna think about..give myself time and guess ill have to make my stand soon enough..if i cry i guess its better i cry now then later when everything is worse..someone show me the way..guide me!

we're so close yet at times i feel the distance

i dunt know if i should really give up?
i dunt know what im in for..
i dunt know what im gonna lose!
i dunt know if im gonna regret it
i dunt know if this is destined?
i really dunt know what to do..
all i know is that i really love you.

day 1

2006-04-01T00:11:00.001+08:00

CEL:i know i kissed a thousand people..but its not my fault if im a good kisser and everyone just wanted lip marks and i could do it so well!dunt be jelous..no matter what you know you'll always be the first right..I MEANT..you know your always the first to know!

GRACE:your my honey bunch sugar pie.

SHERIL:i did?yea one more tmr!!haha..ice cream you scream we all scream for ice cream!bring camera okay!!

GINA:see ya tmr babeh!!joining for supper?you better man!!

RULES ON STAGE:
1.remember to take off my watch!!!
2.when you see marinne screw up just pretend like its part of the show!!
3.check out the audience so during interval you know who to look out for!!
4.NEXT TIME ALWAYS CLARIFY YOUR DATE OF PERFORMANCE AND MAKE SURE NO OTHER SCHOOL IS HAVING A PERFORMANCE ON THE SAME DAY!!right sher!!

anyways i love B3IANS..i mean they were all so sweet..like cel just decided last minute to screw her plans just for me!!i mean i was so touched lah..then like during interval i got flowers from jamie,melo,justine,denise,van,celestine!!and to think that i would be the one with the most flowers was just out of my imagination...im one hell of a lucky girl..!i love each and every one of you who made my performance a succes..thank you guys!im very very blessed..anyways one show down one more to go..!!

2006-04-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

CEL:i know i kissed a thousand people..but its not my fault if im a good kisser and everyone just wanted lip marks and i could do it so well!dunt be jelous..no matter what you know you'll always be the first right..I MEANT..you know your always the first to know!

RULE ON STAGE:
1.remember to take off my watch!!!
2.when you see marinne screw up just pretend like its part of the show!!
3.check out the audience so during interval you know who to look out for!!
4.NEXT TIME ALWAYS CLARIFY YOUR DATE OF PERFORMANCE AND MAKE SURE NO OTHER SCHOOL IS HAVING A PERFORMANCE ON THE SAME DAY!!right sher!!

anyways i love B3IANS..i mean they were all so sweet..like cel just decided last minute to screw her plans just for me!!i mean i was so touched lah..then like during interval i got flowers from jamie,melo,justine,denise,van,celestine!!and to think that i would be the one with the most flowers was just out of my imagination...im one hell of a lucky girl..!i love each and every one of you who made my performance a succes..thank you guys!im very very blessed..anyways one show down one more to go..!!

espresso

2006-03-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

NOTE TO SELF AND EVERYONE:espresso is tmr!!and omg guess what sat night tickets are sold out..then ashykin christina and i were saying i bet if we werent performing and we had to buy tickets we wont even bother going..its so surprising thats tickets are SOLD OUT!

tags::

DIVIYA:your the one person who thinks my life is interesting!like i mentioned in my previous entries its when my life is not interesting that everyone somehow gets the idea that my life is interestin.

GRACE:YES I KISSED HER TOO..

CEL:yeah cel monday?thnks for everything..and erm gentle reminder..prEm and prIm are 2 very different people dear..=)hah!happy studying!

GINA: yea.my COOL sister.haah first i break the school rules then i tell her!haha..and what does she say.."SHAB!!"haha i love you too gina!
WILDER:hey hey hey!!i swear on the moon and the stars in the sky..ill be there..
MEL:haha hows geog coming along?

FAITH:ofcourse my skin is nice..ive got perfect taste rmb!and oh its great sitting in front of you!!

SHERIL:next time..and oh eat your ice cream properly..drip here drip there drip everywhere!!haha!!HOLE!

tthee things i do for gina chan wanling carry home her physics book then bring it back for her tmr!other than getting really embarrassed on stage for not smiling courtesy of nat.lim rehearsal went quite well..so yada yada yada..then tata!!good look for tmr!

hello

2006-03-30T00:39:00.000+08:00

firstly,lets get this clearedl!IM NOT ATTACHED..and therefore its impossible for me to be 2-timing or worst still 3-tming anyone..hello!!i do not have time for this kinda rubbish this year..well im not saying im les excuse the picture of me kissing grace..i just dunt have time.I mean yeah if you consider me 3-tming or whatsoever..soon enough your gonna find me 8-timing!!ahem the 8 candidates include the one and only MR BALAKRISHNAN..whose no longer the guest of honour for espresso but not to worry..number 7 will be there..tho denise refuses to tell me when his coming!haha not like i really care that much but i still care.oh yes so much for 15 tickets all boiled down 0!lame asses i tell you..i found that his a slut!imagine that the first ever guy slut..*looks at celestine!!*okay ive been trying to do geog tho i didnt really manage to do any good!oh wells sorry mel justine and whose my last grp member??kim?my deepest apologies..and oh these past few days have really been damn fascinating so much has been happening..like the charis thing and then the stef thing!whoa i tell you everythings happening so fast.life's zooming by.

oh had this really interesting chat with my dad today i think his getting old..so he was talking bout marriage anyways and then we see this damn nice car..so his like i hope you get to own that one day then i can sit with you in it..i started laughing he knew i was thinking more of my future husband sitting with me in it..not my dad!then he was like ill pray you get a rich a husband..i was like haha you can go choose for me..then he comes up with these 2 gguys who are damn cute; dads frens sons but the thing is their all in UWC!sigh..so i told him forget cos i saw ali with his gf at womad!!but i know the elder one was just the opposite my dad was like you should try talking to them..and hello this is my dad speaking..then suddenly i got this msg so i was replying then my dad was like tell you know what,just marry the person who just messaged you!i paused for a while cos it was really someone who id dream of marrying..haha so i silently said to myself "YEA I WISH IT WOULD HAPPEN!"!then i just laughed it off..then he didnt stop there!!he wanted to know who i was messagin i was like WHAT!haha i refused to tell him..cos as it is my mum thinks im 2-timing,now my frens!soon my dad..but lets get it straight IM NOT ATTACHED AT ALL!so anyways and then this really sweet song comes on the radio "when you fall in love it will be forever" by stevie wonder it had such perfect timing..yet not so perfect cos i wasnt in that lovey kinda mood!atleast not with my dad seated beside me..then he STILL didnt drop the topic he took the really long route home and wanted to get it out from me..i was exasperated already!so i gave in to him afraid that he might not take me home then i die..this is what i said ,
" DAD!i love you!now can we please turn right!"haha..and my dear dad heard it as "i love YU NAW!l:like as in a chinese name..whoa i nearly pengsaned..so i pretended as if there was some guy by that name from chinese high and all so he went home FINALLY..then he asked my mum whose YU NAW?then my mum asks me if i have a new guy in my life..ergh at that point of time i nearly killed myself..then she realised my dads blunder bout the "..you.Now.."..and then i realised my blunder of asking my dad to pick me up!!NEVER AGAIN..

p.s. IM A GOOD KISSER..for evidence:melstef wong,christina,jean,ariel,wanpin!haha!they just love those lip marks did it once and now im a star!!maybe i should start charging them..sorry max sorry martin sorry leon sorry ian sorry people!haha maybe you'llbe lucky enough next time eh!

2006-03-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

ASIAN GAMES
was totally screwed i forgot to bring my phone to school.i felt like shit!and then my mum comes and drops it off and i realise she had gone thru all my messages!at the same time she decides well why not meet your teachers and they go on this whole very out of point conversation and start talking bot me instead of my olevels!sigh man..then rehearsal and all.was completely shacked..
SUNDAY!!
slspt in like hell..then went for lunch..then slept somemore!i just slept and slept!tried to sell ickest then nana calls and goes shabana help me sell..yes nana im sure i can help you when i cant even help myself!then monday we got back lit i was so happy!finally!

2006-03-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

its funny sometimes how i feel so cheated!
its weird when i take a step back and look at my life and realise hey babe youve got no fixed direction.i swear one minute its this and the next is that!sometimes i feel ill make it in life and other times i feel like im just going to die.
its sad how whenever i want something so badly i wont get it and then soon enough ill realise i dint need it and then i wonder was it meant to be this way?then i wonder what would have happened if i did get it..i hate these thoughts!
it tradgic knowing all these good times in your life will end soon.
its scary knowing as every second passes im closer to death and so are you.
its miserable waking up knowing stuff you'd rather not know.
its worst when your so undecided.your just not focussed on one!its so hard!ergh.
all these thoughts are so scary.come to think of it them more i try not to think of them the more i end up worrying over my life!i pray that gods listening and everything will work out fine.

think about the people whom youve met in your life said 2 words to them then never met them everg again and then you think of these people and its sucha pity cos maybe you guys could have just turned out to be good frens.who knows.

and then you think of the people whom are your good friends and wonder what would have happened if i never met these people!and then you begin to thank god for these wonderful people!but then i think of the people ive never met in my life properly and i tell myself so wasted.

but then there's this one frend i miss so badly!gosh why cant we just be frens PLEASE..i miss you as a frend.i really do.we used to have soo much fun together..just talking!this is a really wasted friendship!and this is when i begin to question..was that the end?come on we met for less than a year and now its all gone!your telling me its over?HELL NO?!i hate it.i hate this.

its easy to say 8 will come your away or as shaq says 1008 it will be next yr.but hey man come on whats the point of that 8 or 1008 when you just want one!and when you cant get that one its so painful..i know im not the only one feeling this way and theres so many of my classmated out there who are going thru the same shit.But sometimes it so confusing its like im forcing myself to forgte people im forcing myself to like people.eventhough i like someone..im not sure if i love the person?like and love suddenly seem so different now.im so damn confused.i think thtas why i never had a relationship cos im way to scared to break up in the first place.i hate breakups.i hate tears.i hate crying.i hate getting hurt!i dunt think ill be able to cope with this kinda thing!oh man lets just see how things take thier place..BUT EH I STILL WANT TO BE A (smart) TAI-TAI!

ive recently gotten a really bad reputation.so many people are scared of me now cos i made munch cry.but then i felt really bad after that!and like hello i had every right to scold her anyway!i know its none o fmy business but hey she's still my fren at the end of the day!but thnkgoodness munch wasnt pissed just hope she copes well with everything!the sun will have to shine someday!and like even faith and gina think im scary when i get angry.tho like they all claim to have seen me angry only once they said it was bad enough.i hardly get angry i think eveyront knows that by now and now im labelled as "eh you dunt ever want to see her angry!" how perfect! okay i think this has been of my longest entries ever.but oh wells happy reading and have a great term ahead!

THANKS GINA FOR COMING OVER!AND ATLEAST IT WAS PRODUCTIVE TODAY!tho we did erm our usual stuff plus dinner!thnks babe.

to you today

2006-03-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

no time to blog shall leave you with this..ponder over it!

Shall I be gone long?
For ever and a day
To whom there belong?
Ask the stone to say
Ask my song
-c.day lewis

schhol starst

2006-03-19T14:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday everyone just came about cheering me up!like first christina turned up which made me really glad!her speakers tho from the pasar mala really rock!and then i met cel for makan!then i headed for tuition..which was quite dull honestly!not like i expect tuition to be more but its just not as fun as it used to be!and then i spoke to grace whom i actually dint speak to for quite long..its like somehow i cant live without talking to my frens even if its just 2 words its better than nothing..and i hope things work out for you!ill always be here for you!=))GO FOR IT GURL!youve got nothing to lose..so then i came home i chatted with diviya!and then i made another discover that mel knew my brother..not only that she knew ALOT OF PEOPLE!haha..i was so shocked and she knew my brother before she knew me!how can!then gina calls and she wanted to come over with faith but faith dint come in the end cos she was too lazy so gina came over we intended to study!but hell no we dint study!!we just chhatted and talked..its as if we were sisters!we understand each other so well..i love her!i dunt know what id do without her!so like around 10pm she left then i left for my movie..which was quite SAD!i was so saddened by it!i came home ended up dreaming bout it like theres nothing better in the world to goddamn dream about!i was talking to grace and gina bout IT..and they advised me what to do..ill go with what grace said!ill ask..so thats all..thnks to everyone for making me happy!ok schools starting..

better day

2006-03-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

i dunt know i give up on life.
give me a knife
so much for being your wife.

ok todays been a tough day for me.well i woke up at 6.30 intended to step into school by 7.30 but well somtimes you just aint that lucky so i had to take bus to school..yes this event took place today..imagine that waiting for 970 at 7.15am in the morning!it was really no joke..so much fro my sad day.so then i reached and i was the only idiot who turned up for espresso so i completely dissed the idea and crystal said i could leave.so i went to my plan B.--->canteen!the most happening place of my holidays!so thnkgoodness cel vanessa justine were there..and then gina came..and then sheril came!then we ordered macs!and then we ate and chatted..justine decided to view all my photos in my phone and then we make a discovery that she is andrews yaps cousin!!!and then gina was hungry and so was i so we insisted on ordering macs again once everyone came..so when denice charis jamie etc etc came..we ordered again i ordered burger again!but then when it came i dint feel like eating i dunt know why so gave it to jamie!and then eveyrone left for cip..then nana came and we danced like in the middle of the canteen!we so rock..both minds combined we got the entire dance right!so after that cel and i headed to lorong kilat for makan but we too lazy to take bus tho its like 3 bus stops away so we took cab!and its around lunch time where the day just got worse..and celestine knew exactly what was going on!i think she's going thru close to the same shit!i have no idea what to do..WHY WHY WHY ALWAYS ME?its so freakin unfair..i dunt know what to do!how can i help!!argh im helpless and hopeless!ergh..to that very person i wanna dedicate the song i do(cherish you) by 98 degrees.so then i came home and wished for something that didnt quite happen!see what i mean byt my day has been so ridiculously horrid!im so lost..then we shared cab home too.aiyah we dint have the mood to take bus!then i tried to do heymath i was bloody 25 mins late!oh wells i emailed ms ho and told her to accept it..really hope she does..see what i mean by sway day!
then during dinner my mother starts talking bout ghosts and all..FREAKAYE..and they know hate this hite..but no they continue..so then she goes to pick my brother up from rugby camp and she calls and makes all these noises on the other end of the line i just hung up..and then she tries again and then i realise its her!bloody hell..LAME LAH!and starts laughin at me.sigh mum!so tmr another long day..HOPEFULLY A BETTER ONE..im keeping my fingers crossed on this one..really i need a good day tmr!please god..please!

for you

2006-03-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

For You People..

I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky...
And I swear like the shadow that´s by your side...
I see the questions in your eyes
I know what´s weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my heart
`Coz I´ll stand beside you through the years
you´ll only cry those happy tears
And though I make mistakes I´ll never break your heart...
...I´ll be there...For better or worse, till death do us part
I´ll love you with every beat of my heart, and I swear...
I´ll give you every thing I can, I´ll build your dreams
with these two hands, we´ll hang some memories on the walls
And when just the two of us are there
You won´t have to ask if I still care
`Coz as the time turns the page, my love won´t age at all...
...I´ll love you with every (single) beat of my heart...

so yesterday hmm what happened?oh have i already blogged about that?ok no..so i went to school and then i wanted to go for cip but then i decided not to.so i told my mum to pick me up for lunch and then i joined the rest for lunch at scotts..and then i decided to bring aalia for a walk the girl stops int he middle of grand hyatt walkway and starts playing hopscotch and refuses to budge and tells me to join in!i was like shit embarrassed..anyways and then we headed to st andrews to watch my lil cousin play rugby against the,,whow his damn cool for an 11 yr-old!so his match ended and i called kulvinder to join me..so she came and she was like meet you at the bus stop opposite the bridge..but i dint knoe where i was..and somehow thought i was at the right place..so i just sat on the ground and wiated for her to find me..which she did then we headed to sirs then we left cos sir wasnt there..and we walked to ppmac..and we ate..then i walked back..kul thought i was going to loose my way!hello im not that dumb!so then after sir at like 920 i was just gone..dying that is..and then all of a sudden i get this msg and im just like "fuck you!"really it was such bad timing and then my phone died..and then had a bad headache to make matter worst sir decided to extend so i really was on the verge of death came home and slept..
today was suppose to be in school at 8 for espresso but oh wells..i woke up late whats new anyway..then headed to school..practised then went to pass the sari to someone..and then walked back..and then came home and watched rang de basanti..which was a good movie..tho i intended to do my work..i ended up going to the airport to send my dad off to tokyo!!so yea had a really crisp burger..then came home..and now here i am..and all hells broken lose with people i considered goodfriends..im glad its over.now people can learn to shut thier fat asses up!{not refering to school frens}

PIZZA

2006-03-14T17:37:00.000+08:00

actually i wasnt really planinng to blog then i was like fine whats the point of a blog then

so here i am.yesterday went went..had school in the morning..then i met nana we had some quality time at like 7.20am!!she as strumming away and we were like just talking..then claire comes then celestine van jamie gina come!then we order macs!which so rocked..then at 830 we see ms ho rushing..hah she was late!!so me being me..i waslike "HAHA MS HO RUN YOUR LATE!!HAHA!!then she just pointed at me..damn funny.so then we did what we had to do.and nana left for dance camp!then like around 1030 everyone came..we sang and sang then we left for thomson!met the oldies.and then we headed to btp for lunch..where we made a scene in pizza hut..takin photos!

then like at 4 plus i played pop and started dancing and cel videod the entire thing!!i was like OMG!anyways then cel and i left..then we chatted at like fen shiong for like such a short time but everything came out!finally lah..i told her and she told me!then we were cool.then i went for sir..i was ate but oh wells..it was quite okay..tho i dunt get SVAT![note its not special veapons and tactics]its..displacement velocity acceleration and time!then came home totally zonked out!

then today went to school again.met ms ho she wasnt late infact she was early..i saw her car and then shouted "ms ho wow so early ah!!"7.30 her course is around 830 then she came then she was like yah lah must do hmwrk mah..then i was like..haha..then we spoke and spoke!!and then she left..and then half an hour later everyone came..then nana came and was like buy my drink!!so i was like omg fine but if mrs poh catches..then too badcos she suppose to be in camp.so thnk god the girl was safe!then at 11ish we decided to look for ms ho and disturb her..so we did..but she wasnt in the staffroom so we left her loveletters!!haha..and then at 12 she says wait for my lunch break..so we did..and then at 1230 she comes rushing..then we were like ok teach us..so she sat with us and taught and taught..so fast!damn funny ms goh walked past and was like hi shabana!i swear she loves me..then ms ho was like you dunt kacau us!then ms thory chow walks past and goes wow so hardworking she looks at ms ho and then goes omg i thought you were a student i was about to ask you why isnt your hair tied!!HAHAHA!anyways then ms ho wanted to rush back for her course..then we were like aiyah nvm you always late anyway!haah then she gave us that look!!and then she left then we continued and like 3ish we were planing to ditch the idea of studying and wanted to go for a retail therapy and then i get this msg..so erm we split.and i think it was because of me they decided to not go shopping really sorry guys another day kkae!so they went home and i went out...yeah then i met a fren and had ice cream!!haha and then along comes someone else.haha then round 3 i headed home..interesting day i must add..very!!I HAVENT BEEN THIS HAPPY IN AGES..

holidays

2006-03-12T10:22:00.000+08:00

life

I've lived my life in a chaotic world
I see the darkness as my days unfold.
The trembling of my heart I feel,
As sadness embraces me from head to heel.
And now that I've found you
Everything so right and true.
You are the sparkle in my eyes
You've filled lovin' with all my cries.
You've mastered my fears
And eradicated my tears.
My sun burns even brighter,
My life seems so much happier.
Because of you I've learned that life is no misery
Now I know love is kept for eternity.
I've searched even the deepest sea,
But there's nothing like the love you've given me
I LOVE YOU HONEY...

friday was really and upsetting day just glad its over.dear friends dont do it again..it hurts!
so i spent yesterday grumbling over this damn blog finally manage to get something decent.anyways yesterday we had dance practise went well except for the last one on stage i so screwed up..but oh wells not too bad..coming along quite well.and jamie isnt doing the dance now..poor thing!and after which i went to ghim moh for a while and then we had lunch shepards pie!damn nice!slacked abit then did quadratics..i forgot functions..anyways vectors is coming along okay too..im just really praying i make it to wherever i want to go.anyways i realise how i think my life is quite screwed and then i realise there are people goint through worse and i consider myself very lucky then.mum and sis left for bintan club med today.its okay my turn to enjoy will come soon..just 8 more months..i cannot afford to screw up anymore tests or exams..esp CHEMISTRY!for me its pract is really like cookery instead of chemistry cos i dunt know the chemitsry and i dunt get it, courtesy of simo!was reading grace blog and realised how much hmwrk we have!!oh NO!

1.amath tys
2.emath tys
3.malay malay malay malay malay!
4.ss!!!
5.geog research thing
6.lit??i cant remember!
and i think the list is by right suppose to go on but i just remember now..

oh wells to everyone out there HAPPY HOLIDAYS..

2006-03-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

screwed?

memories!

2006-03-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

I <3<3<3<3<3> you!

shab.gina.mansheel.sheril.jamie.faith.melwong.[not in picture:shermaine heng.and grace goh!]

Do you ever wonder why?
This music gets you high?
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when your body
Starts to rock( Your body starts to rock
Baby you can` t stop( You can` t stop)
And the music`s all you got
Come on now
This must be , pop!
Dirty pop!!

COME FOR ESPRESSO DAY 2!

this song just brings back soo much memories of those PSLE days.Studying so innocently..sitting beside lynette!whose now like head of council in crescent!and the noisy rachel yeo!and the tiny jessica and priscilla..michelle lie and michelle yeo!and nisha(cedar) and mel koh(scgs)!clara lam!pamela!phamelia!shermain!Geetha!!sneha!meena!shaowen!jiamin!anna wang!nat chiam!aiqing yiwen qingling!!tons of them ended up in all these top schools..we rock we beat 6F!how cool is that!oh man i still remember diong the national day dance!i even rmb the song!"national day.day of independance time to celebrate joys our hopes and happiness no where else is my sweet home!to the tune of upside down by ateens!whoa we were really good..and in p5 the william farquhar rap!and then in p6 the malay dances!the dikir barat!i still think bout this stuff..omg and ofcourse prom night 2002 so rocked!stayed over at nina's house that night and all!GOOD TIMES..i miss that smell of hotdog and chicken rice!!oh wells..aiyah we all grow up and move on!sigh..never did i have any hmwrk in primary school till like P6!wow..miss those times..but then i think bakc and realise i even miss my sec 1,2,3 days!!esp sec 1!!SENTOSA!

SENTOSA! 2003! shab.amanda. jean.ting. ariel.teri.christina!-Katie

and then in sec 2!!

nat.r-joy-me-ethel-nat.loh.those were really fun times too.

oh rmb our MEGA FUNFAIR IN SEC 1!!where ms gan thought my brother was my boyfren!!

Jessie and i at the mg funfair 2003!

doesnt it sometimes dawn upon you how so many have changed how you've drifted away from some people!more like how you canT EVEN walk pass each other and just not even smile and say hi!

3B3/4B3 YOU GUYS SO ROCK!

SOON IM GONNA BE COMPLAINING THAT I MISS B3!! well that's life!

blind or stupid

2006-03-08T22:13:00.000+08:00

happy international woman's day!

IM WONDERING WHY EVERYONE THINKS THIS BLOG IS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.SO WHEN I SAY THINGS NOW I SHALL BE LESS INDIRECT/VAQUE.Well i got my progress report today was on the total verge of doing something so wrong but haha when my dad picked me up i just told him everything and i xpected some bad reaction but hey things went well not too bad..compared to what i had in mind.with all that in mind im really sad mg lost in the tennis finals today..poor christine..love you babe!yeah heard acsi lost too..we always loose and win the exact the same years!yeah heard thier cricket won though.wait how does this concern me!IT DOESNT..it freaking doesnt!

so this ones going to be direct:VERY DAMN DIRECT!

They say I'm going crazy but why am I to blame.
Its because of him that I will never be the same..
I have forgotten how it feels to even smile.
Because I often find myself crying every once in a while.
I sit alone in my little in the lonely night,
Seeking comfort but no one is in sight.
It's hard enough just passing the time,
When I can't seem to get you off my mind.
They say I'm going crazy,and I think this might be true.
They say I'm going crazy,but I still love you.

if you cant understand this damn direct thing..your either blind or stupid!

all the best for tmr's cheerobics!WIN WIN!

=)

2006-03-06T16:27:00.000+08:00

last night gina and i spoke till like really late and we thought i'd be good we settle things among eveyrone so this morning we did just that.I think eveyrone felt much lighter after that.i hated chem lab i dint know we were suppose to use all the black metal thing so i used very little!and i couldnt get the result i ended up not doing it.sat there and stoned!and then lit was so stupid i didnt get anything into my brain besides "childs paradise".
BY THE WAY,to everyne out there do not misunderstand my blog bcos there is no such person!there really sadly isnt!im just so confused so my entries dont refer to one specific person.maybe?!no wait no!
so lifes just been like that.i dunt know why nowadays everyone thinks i have an interesting life when i really dont and when i did noone thought i did.its quite funny.
oh sundays thing was damn fun!i really enjoyed myself!thnks to everyone who made it a successthankew thankew thankew!i love you too..tho i oculd have been at sher's church oggling away at ARTHUR!damn i tell you!
anyways i love this song:
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of meI used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
IM BARELY HANGING ON!

i feel that this song carries meaning in my life but i still agree that crawling back to you is even more relevant it terms of life in general.that's why i keep singing it!yet i feel the menaning behind it is just dying out!its dying young too..its really sad..but im begining to accept that this is really life!is this REALITY!

anyways here's crawling back to you..
Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you
Baby I was wrong
Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart,
I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and
I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to youi really am

ouch

2006-03-03T17:09:00.000+08:00

i look at the sky and see the reflection of tears

the grounds moving im dizzy

my mind holds all hands of fear
"dunt look so lost missy!"

falling was your mistake

slashed across me..

you just never could see.
upon myself myheart.

now the would ill leave to heal.

through love its going to die deep down.

sometimes so sweet so soft so sudden.

so PAINFUL.

2006-03-03T16:42:00.000+08:00

and i think to myself what a wonderful world.

i know your there,your like still always there.patience?is that mine?i cant buy.time is sprinting.my heart is spinning my head is turning.my eyes no longer see you.once maybe yes?but now NO!forget me i beg you.let me live let go of me.all of you!this love was not yours.never was.so stop dreaming wake up and chase the rainbow and the end of it theres a pot og old.lets this love of mine rebound on my blood now.they need me.they deserve me more than you do.

we go back so far yet we've been through it all.promise me you'll never leave me!

its funny how i wonder bout things im not sure anyone else things about.like you know do you sometimes wonder why things happen the way they do.i used to learn to accept things the way they are.but nowadays everything keeps happening so fast and i just think somethings that had had happened could have happened different.some people say things meaning this and turns out to mean that.i dunt knoe do you wonder sometimes why you suck so badly at chem!and you wonder is it my genes?haha okay thtas not really what i meant to get across. normally i wonder why you love someone sometimes so badly and yet nothing.neh.nil.none!and how somtimes you dunt really love that someone but that person assumes you do.im not talking rubbish its true. and how sometimes your just talking to someone for the sake of forgetting the person you love.for all the wrong reasons.i really really like someone but then i know its a NO!and i ask myself if this is the case why i still love the person and i just cant answer myself!you can be so in love with someone and yet hate the person so badly!even munch thought it was going to happen..i really wished things happened the way i always dreamt they would..like how in drama "his hand acressed my face and stoof starry eyed under the heat cos he was just so hot and sexy!"haha yea right thtas iong to happen.but the point is why do i still love you?why WHY WHY?actually im so damn confused its pick between 7 of you yet i cant even have that 1 I'D DIE FOR.whats the point you give me 7?when i want the 8th one!they life's unfair!but seriously HOW UNFAIR could it get!imagine that 7!!!BUT NO..Its all a "no!no!" *points to the one who just doesnt say anything!* i really felt like slapping him!its been so long gina.and now its simply affecting my damn amaths!then again i guess its not meant to be..he's too high profile anyway!he's too way up there..missed the boat once and it was the worst mistake.life sucks!and i hate it even more knowing my life suck but he's having a great time!

you make me walk away
i turn around.which way?
you just dunt say!
i'll wait till may!

is this the end?
is this life?
im running
yet hell is open
doors are welcoming
yet sins are downing
im moving im running and ill keep going.
your not the one.
your 2!yet i want eight!

this is the most random entry ive ever written but its actually the most meaningful!

rap

2006-03-03T16:30:00.000+08:00

our rap was weldone!haha!it was just great!YEA MY ASS!anyways wilder muriel and i spent the whole time spying on teachers and kept coming up with our own reasons on why we thought mr ling was all red.was it this teacher or that?it was hilarious!and we kept saying what we think the teachers should have been saying!and den we really made fun of a4's rap.it was damn funny!and then we started singing the "kill a man" song..and everyone kept pointing to MANsheel.haha!and mel wong sang so loudly bcos the v.camera was there and she wanted her voice to be there in the background singing kill the man!annyways and then we stayed back..tried to help munch out..wonder whats going to happen to that poor girl?wonder if she'll result to mels idea bout the AHEM!haha or maybe durians?stupid bhtan keeps naggin at us regarding malay cant she see already we're trying so hard!and munch and i dint go for pe went to class and chatted for like a whole hour..damn ineresting while sher was sleeping beside us..all in all quite a crap day esp sleeping right thru 1 and half hours of the ss/geog video..i was really gone!and after the video she's like yea so this concludes the chapter i was like "oh my shit what i missed the whole chapter!"but too late already!anyways i had macs for lunch!ok gtg byebye!

be prepared

2006-03-02T17:13:00.000+08:00

i knew this wasnt going to last.I so knew.But to think it was going to last this long! I mean SHORT was just a complete shock to myself.im glad everythings stopping here for both of us.Im quite thankful we didnt cross any barriers before we realised everything was going to end up like this.Im really glad things just died down!I know i dont make any sense to anyone but i do know i make perfect sense to myself and to some people!i mean i thank god i was prepared!thnk goodness i had experience.you know really it was

"lets be prepared and not be scared!
we must work together all hand in hand."
this quotation is sp perfect i swear i mean not interms of total defence but in terms of life.and simply what awaits you whether its a chem test or just stupid things like eating mentos in class really just be prepared incase ginas catches you and NOT BE SCARED cos she wont do anything and after while being it in everything together we are really blessed to have each other.
I AM REALLY BLESSED TO HAVE WONDERFUL FRIENDS LIKE YOU GUYS!

and so yes all the best to us for our total defence day rap tomorrow!may the force be with us coolios!esp with all the cool YEAS AND OHHS AND FANCILFUL HAND GESTURES!!

life goes on

2006-03-01T18:27:00.001+08:00

im supposed to be studying chem!haha!but im here observing the pictures that were being speculated..RUMOUR REALLY HAS IT ALL!anyways so yesterday ginathomsett dint come to school and we had 1 and half hours free so nana decided to start drawing dresses!and ms bong came to give us work so we had to do this thing on the perfect boy!which was really lame.christina and i really wrote rubbish like "maan was being friendly and flirty!"we didnt have anything to say and besides he was really flirting!and we knew mrs thomsett wasnt gonna mark she never does this sort of thing.so the mintue i finished i fell asleep NATURALLLY.. and the next thing i knew when i woke up mel was all around taking pictures of me.idiot!actually i cant really remember what else happened yesterday!i came home and slept.and then i decided to attempt my vectors which i tried and was really bad at!and nureen wasnt very good at teaching me either!but i manage to get her!and oh yes the very cool person with a nano wants me to mention that i met her in school and she was so shocked.she literally was taken aback!really!so yes heres to you cool nano girl who also made me skip tuition today!
anyways for today school was quite sian amath was damn rubbish as usualthen chem was equally crap!cnat stand her and then we had english where for some weird unknown reason sheril and i decided to swap places for english and we remained like that the whole lesson.afterwhichi think we had chem lab where me charis and sheril spent 45 mins trying to work our titration in the end we ended up calcultaing our o level results instead of calculating moles and if only it were as easy as pressing numbers into your calculator and plus plus plus!anyways then we had lit and i was so right so much for pike!gloomy thing!how man fish for pike yet pike fish for man!after which we had emath and i swear i just was absent the whole week so i handed it wksht 11 like at the end of the lesson and ms ho gave me the STUPID LAME FACE!i was like what!and eveyrone burst out laughing!so she marked my wksht on the spot and bigdeal i had 2 mistakes i dint put bracktes snd ms ho wrote there so big "SUPER WRONG!' and then the other one she wrote "UTTER WRONG!"and they were minor mistakes and then at the bottom she put SUPER LATE!i was like OMG MS HO WHATEVER!haha it was really rubbish!then drama was major gossip session debbie zai and i were like gossiping the whole time!and jus talking and talking!zai asked me a question something i didnt really think annyone would notice for that matter not like she did nana did and nana told her and she asked me.haha i was realy dumbfounded when she asked me that!it was quite cool too!i mean sometimes it seems like noone really knows you.but goodness was i surprised!actually not really cos nana was the one who told zai.anyway i should be off now.wonderful days..OF MY LIFE!

llo

2006-03-01T18:27:00.000+08:00

=)

2006-02-27T21:36:00.000+08:00

so i walk into school around 9ish and i swear i just HAD to bump into ms ho!got into this whole long converstaion with her but hey eh ms ho i could easily get my way with her so our converstaion went something like this:
ms ho:how come your here?
me:i felt better so i came back
ms ho:huh why you can like that half way come back?what if you get sick?
me:i wont.im fine now.
ms ho:huh no go and rest take mc.what if it spreads.
me:im fine.
ms ho:why you can anyhow come back whenever you like!
me:I NEVER!
ms ho:yes you just did.i have to mark you as late.
me:ok.
ms ho:ok i wont lah.what lesson do you have now?
me:er dunt know go to class and then i check(i actually so knew i was having malay!)
ms ho:HUH you dunt know!anyway i must go already take care!
so stupid right!it was damn lame!she even thought i had avian flu!so missed malay DUH!hung around hearing cool physics stories.and then we had bio!i got 0/3!!and so i decided to go sign the mark sheeet i see extra 2 marks there..im like "huh what did i get 2/2 for?" mrs lee was like oh i gave 2 marks for attitude in class!!I WAS LIKE WHAT!!!haha okay that was just so crappy lah!2 marks for attitude in class...whoa she blind or dumb or what!so FUNNY!anyway then recess i like so last mintue decided i wanted to eat nasi lemak!so i had to rush there and ms bong was in front of me and was all like oh if you dunt feel well you can go home and gina will pass you hmwrk and tchers will make sure your not behind time.!i swear none of the teachers understood the phrase IM FINE!..so yes my cherryade just tasted like medicine!seriously!first time my beloved cherryade tasted so sucky..is this some kinda sign?oh wells who knows!so then we had emath and yes i was so lost in vectors!then we has chemitry!whoa she's bloody lazy!that woman ah!sigh i tell you..HORRIBLE!then we had lit...PIKE here PIKE there..i was wandering what it had to do with war and later realised NOTHING.and zai took really long to realise that pike was a type of fish!and she laughed at me for wandering what it had to do with war!so after school stayed back..mugged abit..ABIT!then cel and i went for tea.kaya toast YUMMY!but she had milo and i had coke!which tasted like medicine!everything does when your taste buds are dead!so yes omg im actuallly blogging bout my entire day!which was not too bad compared to last week..

=)

2006-02-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

i was so up to go to school today.but this morning my fever was just STILL SKY HIGH..so it was an obvious no-no!anyways ive been religiously watching the nanny!and OPRAH!i swear if there was some kind of exam on those 2 shows illl ace it hands down!serisouly no matter how sick you are or how down your feeling fran just turns everything round!anyways after school sheril said she and faith were going to be in school till like 6 so around 430 i thought ill drop by and meet them since my sister was there anyway.and guess who i meet.ms bong and ms ho!ms ho actually thought i had caught avian flu!what the hell lah ms ho!damn funny i tell you!anyways then they were talking bout amath test which oh wells too bad i dun have to take!and then like we started gossiping like mad!haha nothing NEW!so then came home and i have to realise that i have bio and chem to study so hard for!cos its either ill make it or break it!haha the more likely [BREAK] it..crap i tell you i missed vectors missed the beginin of integration missed so much!can die!sigh sigh..heard msg sim has been so annoying..and elee freaking didnt come to school the same day i didnt come to school..how SWAY!i just sit here right now wondering what kinda state im gonna be in when my o level results come out..i really wanna just see my cert and go "OH YEA!" but right now im no where close to having that kinda reaction lah!so shit!i see all those who did well and i ask myself what does it take?how come they can do it?whats it they've got that i dont have?"its a crystal clear answer!i really dont know whats gonna become of me.i mean ive gone through hell loads of shit from guys im just so thankful all that is over but im so confused theres just more coming my way..i just keep running but theres nowhere i can hide.what do i do?am i alone in this race?i pray GOD for that hand to reach out to me pull me out.clear my thoughts.shine a light onto the right path and just walk me.God never gives up unless and untill we give up on ourselves and im not giving up!i will fight this battle i will run this race and you can watch as I WIN THIS WAR!

die

2006-02-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

wells got back for sir last night was feeling totally under the weather!didnt know it was gonna lead to all this.so went home slept.in the morning was having hgh fever so i thought okay ill go to school a lil later after all MALAY only!and later when i woke up i was really sick.my temp wa slike 38.7.so i freaked out and went to the doctors where i was shivering!got medication then my temp fell to 38.4..so im fine now..then sara called missed her call then she told me bout what i missed out during cheerleading!damn funny!and then i found out mansheel and faith home from school.sheril grace mel all werent feeling well..oh yes i also realised nureen dint go to school..that one i wonder why?anyways SLEPT right thru till like 7!eh i wish i die then byebye O LEVELS..!catch me if you can..

haha oh sara concludes that we're all down with the love bug!hmmm..MAYBE?

heya!

2006-02-16T16:49:00.000+08:00

so vdae wasnt as bad as i had expected it to be!infact it was pretty sweet!tons of roses[PLUS A BLUE ONE FROM I DUNT KNOW WHO!] and not to mentions goodies!and the teddy bear was really cute too!i know everyone felt really loved.we had been so tensed and all lately so in a way 14th feb was a real day that everyone let down thier hair.i mean it started of well for me from midnight and ofcourse some idiots just wanted to be the last to wish so they waited till like 1159PM!anyways that was quite funny!but then again obviously there were those who just wanted to be the first to wish me but haha too bad i can only one phone call at a time!yeah and then school was fun..and after school was just even better...one of the best valentines days ever!and im really thankful for it..oh and math lessons are just so fun!we gave ms ho a picture laminted and all of us signed on it and she looked at it and went "eh thats my car!"haha yes its her fav thing and gave ms bong a picture of her baby!!anyways YOU KNOE WHAT..ms bong is 4 months pregnant!
anyways 15th feb was equally FAB!haha mel and i spent the whole time talking bout stuff while the whole total defence day rap/show was going on!!then again everyone was..and today ms bong asked a quesion and i answered and she was like "you were paying att during the talk!" Mel and i just burst out in laughter lah!see i can MULTITASK!yesterday had quite an amusing chat with a certain TAHA!whoever!???!!!WHATEVER!anyways yup oh yes today we went out and we came across this really cool lady who used to teach bio at RJC!whoa she was damn interesting and funny!

a random necessity!lol!!!MUAAH!

hahaha..now theres just SOMEONE else..SOMEONE better..SOMEONE sweeter!SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAS A HEART!

walking away

2006-02-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

im walking away..from the troubles in my life!

2006-02-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

well well..you see the username of this blog is icannotexplain and ive come to a point where i believe thats very true.Because i really cannot explain whats going through my mind,heart..head?feelings have just gone berserk!valentines day is in a week..im praying for a miracle so i could atleast be happy on that day.time is just flying by me.

on a lighter note..hey melissa welcome to 4b3.06!and anyways good news for those people dancing!!megan has agreed to help us!!soo hooray..but we have only 1 session before thursday auditions..so no idea who we gonna do it!hopefully things work out!!cheers!=)

sigh

2006-02-01T20:35:00.001+08:00

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
-Henry Drummond

sigh

2006-02-01T20:35:00.000+08:00

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
-Henry Drummond

2006-01-22T12:36:00.000+08:00

okay soo many pictures right!!TOO MANY!

HAHA heyhey!!first things first..FRIDAY was just the BOMB..seriously in school and after school!we had heritage tour.and it was so fun!!took tons of pictures and walked so much..and it was just so good..and afterwards i went to nureens house for diviya's surprise..really had fun..lets see i just have to update on the who's and who!so here it goes..EVERYONE turned up..well almost everyone!i hope div was really touched..haha ok ok..sarah.c aisha. tara.dania.nureen.ifra.anish.irfan.rizwan.nausheen.shakeer.shakeera.farid.shez. khalid.mohsin.shafia.james.tara.and ofcourse ME!haha..oh yah diviya!it was quite a successful surprise i think..and then we went in to do other stuff..chill out and talk..and then they started pushing people into the pool..never thought id be one of the first few..was playing the piano and everyone came and pushed me in!i was like OMG..cos i had my hp!!so its partially gonecase!and then everyone started thwroing cake around..then to soccer and i tell you the benefit of playing soccer in a dress!IT HELPS okay!den just hung around den round 12ish i think we chowed..had so much fun!!
p.s. thnks tHara for saving my life too..=)heehee

sigh miss you

2006-01-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

i miss you soooooo damn BAD!!come back for a lil while..PLEASE!

Happy Belated Birthday Jamal!
Happy Birthday Audrey!
Happy Birthday Diviya!

help

2006-01-17T17:41:00.000+08:00

IM pouring my heart out on this one!
actually i was coping quite well with all those side track kinda stuff!and like I was coping well with stress i must both from school and others from the the real world who do not believe in feelings..or sometimes are just inconsiderate people who know no harm they are actaully causing..ive been so confused since last night!i do not knoe who i really want now nor do i know what i want!IM SO LOST..like i said at the start i described the yar to be a "sweet-collercoaster" yet i havent quite felt the sweet part..ite been a major rollercoaster plus PIANO just means die..and i couldnt take it..!i just broke down!i thought ill feel better but NO..if i could id quit piano anytime!but i cant..which is so BAD!like school and other stuff arent stressful enough!gosh my mind is flowing with really insignificant thoughts!sometimes i just wish my soul could escape from my body for a while!I NEED A BREAK!im so sick of waking up knowing that guys tend to not go direct!I cant stand that..neither can i stand the fact that some teachers lessons are like close to a lullaby being sung and i cannot stand people pushing thier problems onto me..i dunt mind helping out but dunt let it get out of control.. i got my own life to deal with!SIGH STRESSED LOUSY BAD DEPRESSED..somebody do some magic!

hello

2006-01-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

its the rain!please GO AWAY..oh man this weekend has been exhilarating!im quite half-hearted bout the coming friday..as in both ways..i dunt wanna disappoint anyone yet first come first serve..so yea!oh wells and i just hope im not the cause of SOO many people not going..everyone is like you dunt go i wont go..and if the "i" doesnt go then the other ""i"" wont go..then it boils down to it being my fault!oh wells..like rizwan said "SEE HOW!"haha..quite funny anyways today was such a high day..i saw tara and ifra for awhile..as usual we were late for tuition!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANDNI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHESSA!

im being angelic..hee!oh yes anish is joining tuition..
and someone did NOT msg me today!CAN DIE..its just one day i know i know...argh whatever!
sometimes i think of the other one and i tell myself that was more than just day its been months..things havent changed boy..i gotta do something..DARN I CANT MAKE UP MY MIND!

2006-01-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

HIGHLIGHT of my DAY..WEEK possibly month:mrs d.goh said im so angelic in front of everyone..!!i was like "REALLY!!" so loudly then i think i screwed up the reputation but later on she goes everyone should be like her..so ANGELIC and all!oh and that im mature(this one i dunt think so!)thats when everyone started laughing!!but now.. anglic i am!!hahaha...!!!OH MAN!!SELF PRAISE..international disgrace man!

nothing much to blog about so i shall reply my TAGS!!:
TARA AND AISHA:haha eh eh O levels is so NOT interesting okay i fele like quitting school and getting married!esp with all the new rubbish syllabus crap stuff..
which are so lame..and i must say c.teo is so LAME..
NADZ:haha yes i do because i have nothing interesting to blog about so i shall just update with tags!!so it looks like ive actually got some reason to blog!
SHERIL:haha yes yes thanks for making me realise like NOW...and please find THE reason to pon malay!!hahahah!!
FIONA:heyheyhey!!yup i miss you too..lets see hmm 4 years..so much since those rg days!remember the JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP PUNJ!!its still so funnie!
ANONYMOUS:let it be known that i do not accept anonymous tags!you either leave your name or leave the blog!PRETTY THING??!!haha you sure you got the right person!!

SUPERGIRL!

2006-01-12T16:02:00.000+08:00

ive been on OFF MODE..and everyones been asking me if i remember them..WHY ofcourse i do!!anyways the song at the bottoms dedicated to MYSELF..and maybe you..hahz!
I MISS...hell loads of stuff man!
1.OB SPORE

2.UK

3.3b3 slack days!

4.OB SABAH!!!!-the fun i had with the ants on mango nut trees thru the crusades were magnificent!!
this ones for you my beauties!

4.PARTIES AND ENJOYMENT!!!ARGHHH!!!!

I'm supergirl and I'm here to save the world
And I wanna know who's gonna save me
I'm supergirl and I'm here to save the world
And I wanna know why I feel so alone
Seems like a dream
But there's one thing missing
Nobody's here with me
To share and know that I've been given
I need someone that's strong enough for me

KEEP GOING SHABANA!!!im telling myself i dunt wanna let brad pitt down!nor tom cruise nor for that matter AARON CARTER!

2006-01-08T17:41:00.000+08:00

laid back?haha noh!!!NOT YET!!
okay happy bdae GHARIZA!
nadz:i do have a blog but i realised theres nothing interesting to blog nowadays now that schools begun!
sarah:haha EH!!im smart okay..!<3
sheril:YOU give bah nightmares!no wait sweet dreams??IN MY DREAMS!;)

i need to stay focused on YOU!im sidetracking..an we're still very young..come babe you dunt want to loose face esp when you know your tom cruise and brad pitt are watching!

pooh says it as skull!

2006-01-06T20:23:00.000+08:00

i wanna move my body groove the night away!!-nice song!

life has been well interesting!omg you knoe i forgot everything ive ever learnt for chem!like theres so much to catch up on!anyways..amath is getting better i think besides the fact that i SUCK at sets!its great not having lockers..lols..ive been sleeping so late hardly ever come online too..school is just taxing man!but PE Todays was so hilarious..oh we played so many lame games!there was jacobs ladder then captains ball and THEN you wont believe it we actually we played DODGEBALL!!lols..oh i dunt know if this is a compliment but i shall just share it anyway!oh so after 50 mins of ss d.goh gave us a break so me and mel just slept..10 mins later she woke us up..and then joanne asked me what jc i wanted to go to..and was still quite blur cos i was so sleepy so i waslike "huh..what?" den d.goh was like oh she'll go to ib..den i was so stoned!i waslike OMG thnks d.goh!haha..but seirously i dunt knoe where i wanna go!ac?haha!erm..i dunt know but right now im not focusing on the school i end up in..afterall wherever i go..its gonna be a new place and ill still have to make new frens,get along with teachers..adapt to new surroundings..so im putting all that behind me for now..and just concentrating on challenges coming my way!Ive also come to realise that i cannot maintain a social life while mugging hard!I know ive been neglecting ALOT of poeple!i like to apologise..you have to give me time okay!that's all i ask for TIME..im not sure how long..but if you think im worth waiting..be patient..lols!
you know all our classes have shrunk!like for math theres so few people..not to mention bio!and lit!and omg!i mean we started of with 32 and now theres 26 and hanging on!i love this class theres something bout each and every one of them then i admire..its gonna be so hard to let go!they've really moulded me in such a way that ive had so much fun at school..its crazy when you think bout all the shit we've done!from ponning lessons to sleeping in class to coping with stres and other personal matters..studies aside,we've all come a long way and its a time we renew this force cos i know alot of pple are giving up and its just the beginning we need to come out!we need to..looking forward to all the events:longest day,Valentines,ne prepartions,cip,class outings!i know its year i have to mug super had but that doesnt mean i stop having fun!!!okay who agrees?!!
check out If by rudyard kipling..loving it!

sweet rollercoaster

2006-01-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

it finally dawns upon me that life as a sec 4rian is tough work!day in day out people remind you bout the huge Os..coming up..and how it changes you life!GOD..if you ask me there's much more to life than just studies..but omg school has been so hectic!bunch of new teachers..with old ones as well..bunch of new pple in the school too..so many events to look forward to this year!!EXCITING!all in all im hoping to be able to summarise this year as the "SWEET ROLLER-COASTER!" year!cos i know its gonna be a rollercoaster ride..so gotta fasten my seat belt and hold on tight..sweet cos i know of many sweet things happening this year!!hee2!keeping my fingers crossed on that one!!anyways i think im really blessed to have some really wonderful frens!thank you guys and lets hang in there..btw there's this really annoying song stuck in my head!"I DONT WANNA MISS A THING!"i guess i really wouldnt want to..but why cant the dumb song just leave my mind!SERIOUSLY!alrights i shall be off then..have a fantastic first few days of school!

GINA:thnks..i love the music too..and i love you!!
SHER:hahah!!i bet you tagged that during lit!=)

new years eve!

2006-01-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

new years eve..was the bomb!everyones dying for me to update..and i just have to!!okay so there were 10 of us we went to swensens for dinner..and then sarah.c dania and i decided to check out stuff at taka!an domg we were so up for it till we found out that the age limit was 18!we were like shit!on the way there we kept getting sprayed and all!!it was so annoying..i think it got outta hand too!bloody hell stupid banglas!so anyways we brought everyone down to taka and convinced them that it was the place to be!and everyone agreed..so we bought tix..and slowly tried to get in..very successful i must say!mohsin and dania were the first to enter..then it was tara and i and they stopped us but we got our way thru!then it was nureen ifra and i..and nturally we got stopped again but hey we were smart!"we're" from overseas!"and god it worked!we went in and got stuck..so we counted down together..oh yea i danced with nauveed and jayjay!and ifra was so freaking out behind me!it was so funny!yea then we all danced with megan..since eveyrone else was outside..oh then we met akesh!ooh and there was this bangla following ifra...that babe!and i saw sarahb and the whole gang!and i saw kim and all the primary school babes!anyways then everyone entered and diviya was well tipsy!interesting..then we danced all together and all!oh yea we saw peter chris and james!i think that was the hightlight of everyones night..=) tho im in love with completely someone else..aiyah no harm..eyecandy was aplenty anyways!anyways i had to go like after the dancing!so i went home!yea today aalia came over!so i chilled around with that total 4 year old btich!madness!=)okay guys school begins soon!

2005-12-31T15:48:00.000+08:00

welll well the time has indeed come for an official(well almost) reflection on every single thing that has happened from january to december..2005 as ive said has been a year ill remember like none other..its been a phase ive gone thru where ive learned alot..its year ive grown from..its a year ill cherish.. from time to time i know when i look back this is the year im gonna say i went thru shit and well as they say after a storm..the sun should shine!so im keeping my fingers crossed

well from the times i fell in love and thought if i dint get that guy i was gonna die.. to the time i completely despised my best friend and till today when im back to loving them as well as AARON CARTER!i met hrithik this year..some dreams do come true..i had tons of fun in UK in june!memories of milo parties and well..and ofcourse all the mugging thru school!all last mintue but still MUGGING is mugging..all those times after exams and the results and pulling thru as 3b3..its a class ill never forget..the names carved in my memory whether you join us next yr or not..and ofcourse all those midnight movies and fun!gina,munch,faith coming over to eat turkish ice cream like they could not get ice cream anywhere esle!all those in between tennis times and lunch everywhere..and then ofcourse there was the modeling..experience..oouh there was the cricket matches that i have no idea why i found so exciting..tho it took me so long to even understand!then there was ms bong's baby and dumb relief teacher who would pronounce story as stu-ree!haha and national day where the sec 3s thrashed all the other levels..oh ofcourse there was track meet where we lee cheerleaders won gold!and then macs where we met mansheels fren jamal!hahah!!and how i thought he was the manjen guy..and pointed in the wrong direction!and then ofcourse there was grace me kim and all going to scc for dinner!and all the crazy shopping sprees with no objectives..and the FONDUE with khalid diviya!!damn funnie!ofcourse there was OBS SABAH..where i made like 50 new frens and i love every single one of them from the shortest nas to the sweetest jing to bah!to SHOPHIA..yoke..eboi..everyone!oh and my ulitmate eye candy of the camp..i shant mention!and then there was the kuantan trip too which was the bomb too!!and then there was the kl trip where i met this hrithik look alike..who was so nice!but his in kl and im here!so too bad..then there was ofcourse all the secret midnight calls!so meaningful..oh yes there was eid where elishea and i were in town like at 2am on a friday night and were lost!oh yes then there was my piano exams which i miraculously passed!if i go on..this thing is never gonna end..well oh yes ofcourse there were the bad times as well but hey man those are thing you dunt wanna remember!=)
cheers people..lets bring in the new year and celebrate!goodbye 2005...
i warmly welcome you 2006!make me smile again..sweet..

2005-12-31T02:04:00.000+08:00

oh today was a fantastic day!went shopping with my mummy,sister and other granma!it was so fun..i had bk!and then SHOPPED..and bought tons of cards!even for my sweet 16!i decided to choose my own card!madness!bought my brother shirt..granma a phone..

HAPPY BDAE NANI!
and
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

well 2006 has been a pretty topsy-turvy year with alot of ups-downs..
you name it babeh!ive gone thru shit this year.but you know what im gonna learn from all the shit that's happened!im moving on..im just very unlucky when it comes to frens..everytime i make a fren and tell myself this is one person i never wanna let go off..i turn around and the person comes whispering to me:"hey dear this wont last!"you have no idea how much it hurts! for example when i made a great fren this yr after so long!barley known her a year!but it seems to both of us we would have been perfect as sisters!damn i tell you!now she'll be off..she's not the only one..there are others..MANY OTHERS..but this is gonna be one of the most painful ones!

im dedicating this entry to you..wish i could play that james blunt song for you..well go play it while reading this..and to that very special person of the year!

I don't wonna say these words,
I don't wonna see you cry.
I hoped it would never have come to this,
I hoped I'd never say goodbye.
But theres something you should no,
Before i set you free.
It's because of you,
That today i am me.
You helped me through the hard times,
You helped me through the roughs.
No matter how bad things could get,
You were always very tough.
You were always smiling,
Your were always glad.
Hardly ever,Did i see you mad.
So don't forget,The laughs we shared.
And the love we gave each other,
And how much we cared.
So one more thing,Before u go.
This is one thing,You have to know.
I love you,

good times!

2005-12-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

Haha!!OKay today was an awesome day!its been a long time since ive spent such valuable time with nana and jean!!really enjoyed the times in sec 1 and those times we just go out and HAVE FUN!shop,take dumb pics!OH we were planning to take neoprints..like how we used to be so fascinated by these barely thumb sized pictures!!but then too bad nana had to leave..oh guess was having this fantastic sale but not chepa enough for us to buy stuff..in the end we shopped at wisma and then taka!1oh btw do not have lunch at delifrance bistro the waiters there are so blur and service is so slow..they should have just left it as it was.. no bistro all!ouh yea jean thnks for the wonderful skirt!!its NICE man!im thinking of using it for new yrs eve..THINKING..and there is sale going on everywhere!but i had no time!AND NO MONEY!lols..
im not missing Sat's party whatever the cost!ok ok im holding on to my holidays..cos once their gone they aint coming back for a very very long time!

28th of dec

2005-12-28T13:34:00.000+08:00

hey people!!okay okay yah fine i missed a great party eh but its not my fault and eveyrone doesnt have to keep rubbing it in!anyways there is always next time!haha okay okay..went to the driving range and boy im so bad at it!hahax..hoping to go shopping tmr with jean and nana!!love you people!<3<3<3<3 color="#33ccff">MONEY!!anyone likes to well erm i wont say donate..but anyone like to GIVE ME MONEY..ive been a good girl all year!!

TENSED..

the past is surreal
im leaning on my future
thought to reconstruct
dreams have yet shattered
to walk would blister
in the right direction
noone seems to mention
loneliness, tears, tension!

tara:NOH IM NOT DELETING MY MUSIC!

damn!

2005-12-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

How can it tell you I love you?
Its just three tiny words...
You tell me everything is alright
When you stair at me you smile
I stair back and want to cry
Ive held this secret from you my best friend
For the entire time
Ive been around you
Ive been in love with you for so long
And Im so mad at myself for lying to my heart
I tried to push those words far from my mouth
Id hate for you to feel as though so much will change
But it is true
No lie
I love my ________
Ill love you all my life

MERRY XMAS TO YOU TOO

2005-12-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

MERRY XMAS!
its the most wonderful time of the year!
HAah okay todays been a nice day!i saw the snow from my window..had lunch at adam road..the roti john was so cool!!!really really!!Anyway,came home fell asleep!
ive got so much to do..and so little time..this really sucks!and its been a great evening got the house to myself..love it when that happens!greaT movies..feeling much better but still i dunt know how to say this..its gonna be harder when sch reopens!god GO AWAY..just vanish!!PLEASE!knowing your gonna be around soon just kills..and pls dunt kill me im way too young to die!

Nureen + Aisha :merry xmas!!

Sarah:haha congrats!i lurve you!

Khalid:hello..thnks for taggking but i realise tara still doenst know how to tag!

xmas eve!

2005-12-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

YES..ive amazingly been tagged so ill do this first and then update!!=)
Rules of the game: post 5 weird and random facts about yourself, then at the end list 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours."so amusing i love. okay how about 5 things i think(KNOW) you'll love about me. haha everything!

1)hmmm..i actually keep most things to myself tho it doesnt look like i do
2)i DO believe in relationships OKAY!dumb pple who think i dunt!
3)i love to eat soft french fries!!
4)i personally am in love with well IDIOT!ok not much of an ass BUT!
5)OUh..call me for dessert!!Its MA thing!

OKAY NOW FFOR THE 5 PPLE!!:WHYIS I CAN ONLY HAVE 5!!
JASVIR YOKE SARAH AISHA TERI

ok today!is xmas eve!!and SIR completelt stood us up!hahaha!!idiot ok!anyway nureen and i chilled arund and really literally speaking HUNG OUT!quite cool..
ok and came home and then *SOMETHING HAPPENED*
shaheen khala came over with azeem..and we chatted for really long
den den den HIGHLIGHT suddenly i hear like "HO HO HO HO!"GUESS WHOSE here!! yes yes..sufiyan came dressed up as santa and offered us yummy chocos and duh which santa doesnt have santa rina's so there was ofcourse *drum roll* aisha!sarah!and tara!!haha it was so cute okay!really cheered all of us up!!brightened the mood for sure!love these awesome sweet surprises..Sweet bcos they baked us xmas cookies which were xtra sweet and sexy!loved the icings!!anyways so now everyones off to town..and im here smiling away looking forward to dinner!thanks for making my day!!=))

im loving it

nureen:haha i asked around too

sophia:thnks babe!!LUV YOU TOO MUCH!

hid:i will soon!!thnks to you too babe!

2005-12-23T19:59:00.000+08:00

i dunt knoe why..but these past dew days have really been a rocking roller coaster for me.im trying so hard to find myself..i wanna know who i really am!who i really like or love for that matter..sometimes i dunt knoe but i feel like im doing so many things not bcos i want to do them but bcos pple are expecting me to them!im really not sure whats going on with me.i refused to go anywhere today!i stayed home and i really wanted to have time to myself hardly even came online!!im just hoping elishea comes down later cos its at times like these when i desperately need her!things seem so simple..BUT they arent and thats what i hate!i dunt knoe been feeling down lately.i JUST wanna freaking hell be my own person!its come to a point of time where im so confused as to who i like..and who likes me!People just confuse me..one min its this and the next its something else!..its so bloogy annoying..I KNOW who i love..but im not sure how long im gonna be handle this on my own..keeping stuff to myself hurts sometimes..but telling it would even be worse!i do NOT know what to do!i do NOT know who to trust..am i like cursed or something..its so bloody hard just understanding myself..let alone anyone else!i bet im the only one..and now i know it means when they say its confusing always when your single!i used to think they were so wrong..but NOW i know..hell yea they were so RIGHT!its not like i plan to get attached..ive had enough of guys complicating my life!THEY ALWAYS Do..no idea what satisfaction they get..dunt woryr im not turning les either..im planning to just STAY HAPPY for now!or try to atleast to..haha!!IM STRESSED OUT!I lOVE YOU!

Am i going crazy?

2005-12-22T13:34:00.000+08:00

They say I'm going crazy but why am I to blame.
Its because of him thatI will never be the same..
I have forgotten how it feels to even smile.
Because I often find myself crying every once in a while.
I sit alone in the lonely night,
Seeking comfort but no one is in sight..
It's hard enough just passing the time,
When I can't seem to get you off my mind.
They say I'm going crazy,and I think this might be true.
They say I'm going crazy,but I still love you.

dedicated to____;;;YOU!=)
like you would ever come her and knoe!but anyways..cheers!

HAPPENING=)

2005-12-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

this blog is happening!yes bah and my jokes were not lame!they are funny!OBS-sabah!omg..i had hell of a good time!and sophia who regards me as her wonderful wall..thankew!somehow its like i just cant stop talking bout those fun times!those dumb things!jais bra sessions!gosh!
anyway its like i forgot how to do lit or something!i cant even start!im so jammed on it..and like my tag board is flooded!i miss you melody too!!and sheril!and yea aisha!!and shane yea i linked ya!khalid no need to rub salt on my open wound!and hey wayne!hey div duh luv you too!oh tara so dearly!hey ashikiyin hey celestine!wow thats alot of shoutouts!!BUT its fun!
omg i was watching the news and india your not allowed to go out with your boyfren/girlfren they slap the girl and send the guy to jail!how bad!and the newsreporter was so cute!she was like "fall in love and get slapped!" and the police call it "romeo inspection" or something like that!damn rubbish!
janans party!!msg me for details!!thas all for today!nights..

p.s.i still miss you..but i regret missing you!

santa's in town

2005-12-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

i couldnt sleep the whole night!had all sorts of weird thoughts.kinda missed someone really badly!OH wells!some frens are just so missable? HAhs..anyways gina called this morning and like kept reminding me but how much hmwrk i had!and i was completely taken aback!got me so nervous..like she has done any of it!haha..atleast she knew bout it..so and then we decided if we dunt meet up we both will not get started on our work and it'll just keep delaying and soon school will reopen!so haiz..with all that in mind we decided we shall meet at 2pm to get started!back to the good ol days!HERE I COME GINA..haha and yes celestine see you there!

for those who love me!

2005-12-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

haha so this is how its goes one fine day,i got so bored and decided hey lets get back to blogging!and here i am!for those of you who used to read my previous blog ahha yea i used to be so into it right!then i just got turned off by the fact that i had to keep updating!anyways im back!
so lets see its the HOLIDAYS!well its been quite fast..the whole year passed by so quickly and now like its about time i reflect on like the whole year.ive been so playful and like so slack!oh boy i need to mug for next year!like real hard but for now i shall enjoy my holidays!
i have no idea whats with the month december!like every year during this month at a frens house ill meet some hot guy!every damn year!!aha ANYWAYS..so yea hmm today?been quite erm boring..had many interesting chats with people these days!been quite pleasant!haha Ariel just told me bout this party at janans house!!so exciting!too bad grace wont be here..will miss ya babe!oh i had dinner at some place and as my dad was driving there "eh MANSHEEL!" Haha i like saw her crossing the road with her whole family!
so mum and sistas away!erm..dads been hanging out!brothers been OUT!anyway i managed to get div to watch this hindi movie!salaame namaste!haha she watched it and said it was good!much love div!and like i dunt knoe why but these holidays whenever i go out be it dinner or lunch its somehow like A MUST to have dessert!i realised it is so bloody unnecessary!but then i also realised yo man thats lifE!and as mohsin says:dessert should never wait!
so NEW YEARS EVE!haha oh my gosh..hope everything goes well..TARA!!im kinda excited too!
haha so KING KONG is the worst movie ive ever seen..never ever will you be able to gte me to sit and watch a dumb monkey kong movie!seriously!damn it!waste my time!oh stupid khalid and tara were suppose to come over..but i dunt knoe what happen and i fell asleep anyway!so yes!
haha thats all for my first enttry
btw special thnks to nauveeds dumb hair gel that got my hair sticky!hahah!fun times!=)

see you tomorrow!